KungFu
N.J.
When a traveling Buddhist monk named Bodhidharma arrived at the Shaolin monastery around 500 AD, he found the monks there to be so out of shape physically and mentally that they were falling asleep during the prolonged meditation sessions that were integral to monastic life. The program of exercises he proceeded to teach the ailing monks has evolved into what we now call Shaolin style Kung Fu. The legends of the origin of Chinese martial arts is rife with controversy and disagreement, but luckily these don't need to be resolved to reap the benefits ofthis enigmatic and esoteric tradition. In this paper, I will describe my experience thus far with Kung Fu, and attempt to explain the purpose in my practice.

I first encountered Kung Fu when my college roommate mentioned that he had joined a school club that taught another northern style. It sounded like fun, and appealed to my interest in esoteric knowledge and physical activity, so I decided to accompany him to the next class. As we went through the systematic exercises, I was immediately captivated. I loved the discipline of kung fu, and the structure of respect that it was built around. Unlike many hierarchies, it seemed that respect was given to those who practiced most diligently, who were not necessarily those who had been members the longest. Also, as a college student that spent most of my day with books and ideas, I was enthralled by the sheer tangibility and physical immediacy that martial arts presented. The class met five days a week, for upwards of two hours a day. I was often reminded by the instructors how much more Chinese students would practice, and so I attended diligently, rarely missing a day. I loved feeling like I had made a commitment to myself and the club, and seeing myself improve every week. Unfortunately, I left school after only one quarter, and when I settled down again, I long neglected to find a new place to practice.

About three years later, I had moved to Portland, and I began to seriously look for a school to continue my practice. I visited many schools, but each one didn't seem to feel quite right. One had too many young children, and the teachers didn't ask much work from their classes because they couldn't afford lose any of these boisterous little kids. Another school seemed to be taught exclusively by other students, while the teacher checked out his hair in the mirror the whole time. A third class gave me a free first lesson, taught by a very enthusiastic student with maybe two years experience. He was very excited to tell me all about the profound teachings of the style, but I was thinking, "Who are you to know, you've only done this a little longer than I have, and I don't know much of anything!" Also, their flashy website and expensive uniforms made me think they were more focused on making money than teaching good Kung Fu. Finally I arrived at the Portland Kung Fu Club. I was immediately drawn to the low profile of the school: no sign, no flashy uniforms, and no screaming kids. There were just a few dedicated students and one good teacher, working together. I didn't feel like I was being given a sales pitch on my first visit, and I respected that. I decided to join the school and have been there ever since.

The reason I practice martial arts are twofold. It is simplest to speak of them in two categories: the internal and the external. The external reasons are easier to describe, so I will start there. First of all, I need to be able to protect myself and loved ones. There are many people in this world who are very angry. For whatever reason, they take pleasure in hurting people. Some people cannot be reasoned with and are prone to doing something everyone will regret. I have friends and loved ones who I feel a duty to protect. It is painful to think of being unable to protect these people in a bad situation. I don't ever want to think I should have trained harder because I couldn't stop someone who was out of control. Furthermore, I am adventurous person, and my life has and will continue to lead me into situations with all types of dangerous and unpredictable people. It is important for me to be able to defend myself, because I don't want to be afraid to do what I need to do in this world. For example, I want to choose a career that will make the world a better place. Also, I like real life encounters, not paper work and office jobs. This combination will likely find me in some dangerous work environments, such as inner city neighborhoods, war torn countries with long-standing hatred of Americans, picket lines or prisons. I need to know how to defend myself against those who I wish to help. The poor and desperate often resort to violence, as all other channels of power have been denied them. The people I want to work with are rightfully distrustful. It is important that those who I want to help don't kill me first. More than likely, I will never need to use the skills I practice everyday. But the confidence I am developing through this practice will be a main reason I won't need to resort to violence.

The other reasons I practice I would describe as internal. One internal reason could be described as personal development. Twenty-five hundred years ago Socrates said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." I would agree and add that the unrefined life is not worth living. Better yet would be to say that the unrefining life is not worth living, because I don't mean critical taste in wine and clothes but I do mean the word in the form of a verb, not an adjective. I mean the ongoing process of the simplest definition: to bring to a state of purity.

I believe that our external environment is more than just a reflection of our minds; I believe that it is our minds. Thus, when one's room is messy, it doesn't just mean that their life is in disarray, but that their mind is messy. For this reason, in simply cleaning my room, I am able to think more clearly. Likewise, when personal relations with others become messy through miscommunication, selfishness and ignorance, it doesn't just lead to confusion and unhappiness; it is confusion and unhappiness. There is no distinction between outside and inside.

Missing this connection, many people think there is something wrong with the nebulous concept they call their mind. They wish there was a switch they could flip that would take away the compulsion of a bad habit, or some new pattern of thinking they could somehow adopt to see clearly and be happy. I believe this: what is "inside" is unreachable; rectify the outside and you have simultaneously rectified the inside. In Kung Fu, we are taught a series of movements that, as perfected, train the body to be capable of self-defense. The difference between good Kung Fu and bad Kung Fu is subtle. Through taking on this external challenge of refining body movement, we simultaneously fight an inner battle, hammering out imperfections in our selves and clearing the path to self­realization. While I have not been long at my practice, I can see the many ways it has aided my personal growth. I look forward to becoming a more fully realized person and using Kung Fu as a measuring stick, to see how far I've come. Not until I started learning Kung Fu did I realize how uncoordinated I truly was. More to the point, I suddenly saw vast dichotomy between my own self image and my actual physical ability. The beginning of martial arts practice is the recognition of this divide and its gradual alignment.

Another internal reason I practice is to facilitate the gradual removal of bad habits. There are many things we are told will make us feel better; eating well without overeating, getting up early and going to bed early, refraining smoking, drugs, and excess alcohol. While we all want to be happy, and many of us trust these suggestions, the instant gratification of these indulgences often overshadows the larger goal and its difficult path. In such a way, we have "just one drag" of a cigarette, or "ten more minutes" of sleep. These individual acts seem insignificant in the larger battle and self-improvement gets postponed another day. And yet, when we look back, we see that these insignificant individual acts are the larger battle, and that's why it is difficult. Before, in had a few drinks and stayed up late, I would sleep late and then mope around the next day in slow motion. It didn't have any perceivable consequences because I was too foggy-headed to feel accurately. When I started practicing Kung Fu, I suddenly had an immediate reason to start following my own advice. Smoking made practice miserable, so I quit. Staying up really late had the same effect, so I started going to bed earlier (I'm still working on that one). Eating a huge meal before practice makes me foggy headed during sparring and I get hit. Gradually, I've begun to value my progress and feeling good in class over staying up all night. I still go out occasionally and have a drink or two, but now I know how I will feel the next day, and I act accordingly. Now I'm in better shape and have become more accustom to feeling good in class, and I've begun to notice more and more subtle things that affect the way I feel. More recently, I can tell that what I had for lunch on the days I practice and even what I ate the day before makes a difference, affecting both my enjoyment and performance.

By considering the outcome of all the reasons I've explained thus far, I come to my final reason I have decided to learn kung fu. I am currently in school to become a math teacher, not because I necessarily think that kids need to know math, (though it is useful in developing a whole separate kind of confidence), but that I want to be a teacher, a mentor. I want to help kids on their separate paths, and give them the skills and confidence to do what they want. While I think that math is a valuable skill for kids to learn, I think martial arts is a more direct way to teach what is truly important. I want others to achieve what I am achieving, and I need to be skilled enough myself to be able to help them, and so I practice. Eventually, I would like to start a kung fu school, perhaps specifically for under-privileged kids, where I can help them achieve their goals. I want to inspire people to make something of their short time in this world, and so first I must make something of my own.